Friday, June 17, 2011

Victim of Brutality

Right now, things are quiet in my house. And it's pretty darn eerie.

Milo and Violet are munching on a snack of Frosted Flakes and the babies are napping -- one in the swing and one hanging in the Intellitainer (a non-rocking Exersaucer). I'm not sure why she's comfy like that, but I'm just gonna go with it for now.

And I am a zombie. A complete and total useless waste of flesh today. I can't stay awake long enough to feed a baby or pump -- just the act of sitting still is enough to knock me out today.

Why?

Night times are just plain brutal.

We're both on call for most of the night -- it takes both of us to feed the babes and I'm not exaggerating this one. I can't imagine how single parents do this...

Milo wasn't too bad at night. Once we decided not to breastfeed him, we were able to split his nighttime feedings. I'd take the early one and Scott the later one and we'd both only have to be awake once at night,

With Violet, I nursed her mostly in my sleep. All night long, yes, but I was asleep in a chair so I barely noticed.

But this time? It's just monumental. For the most part, the girls are still on a 3 hour rotation. So we feed them at about 9, taking about 40 minutes. Then we put them to bed. Scott does the getting them to sleep part while I pump. Then I wash bottles and start the load of diapers, get ready for bed and take a shower since I've discovered that I really don't have time to shower in the morning before work. I get to bed around 11:00.

One hour of sleep.

The girls wake at 12ish for their next feeding, again taking about 40 minutes. Then I pump, run the diapers through the hot wash, wash bottles and come back to bed around 1:30 - 1:45.

One hour and fifteen minutes to one and a half hours of sleep.

The girls wake at 3ish for their next feeding, again taking about 40 minutes. Then I pump, put the diapers in the dryer, wash bottles and come back to bed around 4:30 - 4:45.

One hour and fifteen minutes to one and a half hours of sleep.

The girls wake at 6ish for their next feeding, again taking about 40 minutes. Then I pump, make my coffee and breakfast and get ready for the day.

Now some days we get an extra half an hour to an hour of sleep between one of the feedings, but never between more than one. So that means on the best day where we get an extra hour and my housework takes less time than expected, I will get 5 hours of sleep. On a normal day it's closer to three and a half hours.

Could I go to bed right after the 9 o'clock feeding? Not really -- Milo and Violet are rarely settled by then and some nights we're eating after a t-ball game or at the pool or visiting Grandma and Grandpa and time slips away so very quickly. And now that I'm back to work I can't go back to sleep after the 6 o'clock feeding. I had been able to do that until last week and Scott still does (lucky bastard).

And weekends? Well, because I'm generally still up at 7 o'clock after pumping and washing bottles, I nearly always greet one or two of the walking children on the way down the stairs as I head back up to join Scott for another hour of sleep, so no chance for more sleep once they're awake. I've gone so far as to try and convince them that I am completely capable of snuggling them on the couch while I'm sound asleep. It's true, you know... But they don't buy it and start talking to me anyway, frequently pleading "Mommy! Open your eyes!"

Well, Mommy doesn't want to open her eyes. Mommy needs a darn nap! But that's not really going to happen, either, because as soon as Mommy gets home from work, Daddy heads out to the garden or to his parents to mow or to a meeting or to care for the chickens. And Mommy doesn't get a chance to deliberately close her eyes.

I just wish for one day where all I did was nurse, feed, and pump then roll over and go back to sleep. But that would require another adult to assist Scott and if there's another adult around, he's back out to work on out poor overgrown garden, to mow, or to meet with people and I get suckered back into the fray no matter what.

I seriously don't know why it isn't standard issue for moms of infant multiples to get free maid/cook/garden service. If I ruled the world, that is what would happen.

In the mean time, I'll just watch the rest of my family sleep as I play dairy cow, dishwasher, and diaper service. Or, in other words, Mom.

5 comments:

Christina said...

Aww, you poor thing. I wish there were something I could say or do to help. Hopefully the babies start sleeping for longer stretches of time very, very soon. Big hugs.

free game download said...

I wish there were something I could say or do to help. Hopefully the babies start sleeping for longer stretches of time very, very soon.

Aggy said...

Though I know you are too busy to participate in any silly blog games, I just wanted to let you know I linked to your blog via an award thingy! Congrats on the new arrivals!

Marilyn (A Lot of Loves) said...

That sounds extremely exhausting! I'm sorry that you have to manage work on top of the stress of managing all of that.

Miss Megan said...

UGH!!! I remember those days (and nights!). EXHAUSTING!!! I have no idea how a single parent would do it either. We ended up splitting the girls up - I would take one baby and my husband would take the other. When my baby would wake up I would feed, change, etc. and when his baby would wake up he would feed, change, etc. I pumped as well (all day long and at night), so there was pumped milk in the fridge. There were plenty of nights when I only got 3 hours of sleep, but, only having to feed one baby in the night meant that I got more sleep than I would have if I had to feed two babies in the night. Just a thought. Keep up the awesome work momma!! With any luck those cute little peanuts will make it longer stretches in the night very soon! Hang in there!! And working IS brutal. I had to get up for work at 4 AM for a long time - just now I am finally to not having to get up until 545! Improvement!!
And I will just quickly throw this out here again - don't feel bad about having to supplement if you don't make enough milk (especially supplementing in the middle of the night). You need your sleep and you won't last very long in your current ridiculously sleep deprived state!!!
You're doing a great job!!!! =)