I know why it's happening, but I'm not sure how to make it stop because it is all stress related. When I type stress, imagine it with 60,000 lightning bolts arcing around it, the metallic taste of ozone creeping into your mouth. Electric blue stress, with a side of last-adult-standing.
What's goin' on to make me stressed? Eh, a couple of things.
1. The miscarriage. As it stands right now, another phebotomist rolled another vein in my right arm, so I had to attend a wedding on Friday night with a nasty bruise and some track marks on the inside of my elbow. I solved this issue by always carrying a glass of wine -- brilliant! Friday night, my poor hubby had to insert four pills of Cytotec into my girly parts to medically induce a miscarriage. After reading horror stories online, I was too chicken to administer the meds myself. No horror story for me, though, as it didn't work. Well, it worked well enough that I had some crap-tastic diarrhea and was limp as a wet noodle all day Saturday, but I didn't finish the miscarriage, or maybe I didn't need to. I don't know anymore. I have an ultrasound scheduled for the 21st to see what's-a-going-on-in-there. Yippee!
2. Violet had a tummy bug. And now, every time one of the kids moves at night, I hear it on the monitor and think someone's drowning in puke in their bed. I jolt out of bed and tear into her room, searching for signs of vomit, then return empty-handed to repeat this ritual in 34 seconds. This has caused me so much anxiety that I have actually spent part of the last few nights snoozing on the futon where I can't hear the baby monitor. I'd turn it off, but Scott actually likes it. Maybe I'll just turn it off anyway.
3. Speaking of Scott, he's waist deep in a production, as he always is this time of year. Tech rehearsals kept him out of the house on Saturday when I was winning the couch-parenting-mother-of-the-year award and will tonight and tomorrow night. So now I've got to chase Violet around the playground during Milo's t-ball practice again. Because that was super-fun last week. And will be super-fun on Wednesday, too.
4. Scott is heading out of town. Yep, he'll be installing a set in Texas this week. Yay for the rental fee, yay for the per diem travel, and yay for the wages to install it, but BOO to Scott being gone. Boo, hiss...
5. Milo's birthday party is approaching. Which means cleaning and preparing for a party. And hoping that kids come... I've only had three RSVPs (two yes, one no) out of 10 invites. They aren't due until the 10th, so hopefully a few more will come through.
6. I'm gearing up to go to part-time status at the beginning of July. Trying to get as much done before then. And with classes out, the only living things in the basement of this building are me and the bugs. Did I mention that spiders creep me out? Well, they do.
7. My garden and plants aren't responding and growing as well as I'd hoped they would. Sure, some things are doing really well (corn, beans, zucchini, onions) but the ones I really want to eat (broccoli, tomatoes, and cauliflower) aren't. Some of the peppers are and some aren't. I got some organic fertilizer to see if that will make a difference... Now to find the time to use it.
8. I need to renew my driver's license and file for a homestead tax credit. OK, not real big stressors here, but stuff that does need to be done. Speaking of which, why hasn't my license plate renewal notice arrived? Better check into that, too.
9. Violet is trying to potty train. Sometimes. When it seems appropriate. Or darn inconvenient. Her little voice doesn't seem to carry the same sort of insistence that Milo's did when he was in that stage. Sometimes it sounds like she's singing, other times it sounds like she's asking for a drink. "My need tinkle" sounds a bit like "My need dwink!" doesn't it?
10. My allergies and sunburn have left me feeling totally itchy. And like I just don't want to be touched. At all. By anyone. And everyone I know wants to sit in my lap, cuddle me, snuggle me, sleep on me, sleep with me, squash me, and climb on me. I just don't seem to have any tolerance right now. Maybe a few nights sleeping in my bed all by myself with the monitor off will do the trick? Even if they don't that's still what's going to happen.