In the time shortly before my alarm went off, I took a most unusual journey in the land of nod.
I dreamt that I was out shopping with the kids, who were mostly behaving. Our final stop was a certain chain store known for selling bedroom and bathroom accessories and beyond, too -- just how does a store sell beyond?
In my dream, the kids were trailing behind my me as I pushed a cart through the aisles, craning my neck to see the merchandise waaaay up there -- I guess I didn't have binoculars handy. The store seemed endless, but as we approached the corner where the bedding was on display, I was completely overcome by sleepiness.
My feet were dragging and I was leaning on the cart. I stumbled to the nearest display, one of those with a partial bed set up so you can see how the sheets, comforters and ridiculously expensive pillows coordinate. Of course, you can't really tell exactly how that stuff is going to look in your home, unless your home is a big box store with fluorescent lighting and a gleaming white floor.
I zombied right up to the display, lifted the coverlet, and crawled in. Yes, in my dream I took a nap in a busy store with my children skipping all around me. My dream nap lasted about an hour, at which point I startled myself awake (in the dream) and gasped, "Where are my children?"
I started calling and each child appeared from a different aisle completely unharmed. They looked happy to see me and were ready to go home. I slid out of the bed (display) and took them each by a hand, asking Milo, "Did mommy fall asleep?"
"Yes. But we stayed close by. The other kids played tag with us and the man-ja-jer (manager) said not to wake you."
I looked around to discover that I wasn't the only mommy to snooze in a display -- the other three beds were occupied by slumbering mothers whose children were left to fend for themselves in the store, apparently playing tag with my babes. I sheepishly herded the kids out the door, slinking by the smiling manager, a grandmotherly woman who wished me, "I hope you had a great nap!"
When I woke this morning (for real, no pinching necessary), I was so shocked by my dream behavior. Am I seriously so tired that I dream about sleeping? Who dreams that they abandon their children in a store, neglecting their very safety for a nap? Did I eat bad pizza last night? How many licks DOES it take to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop?
The world will never know...