Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Pregnant Pause

My strawberries appear to like their new home!  Last week, we put up a strawberry pyramid and filled it with organic dirt and compost/manure.  On Sunday, Milo and I put in the bare-root dormant strawberry plants and, as of last night, all 50 plants have awakened!  Inside, I have 72 tomato plants started, 72 cabbage, 36 broccoli and 36 cauliflower.  Plus 144 peppers (mixed variety -- red, yellow, and green).

Scott is working hard on the chicken coop.  The walls are framed, the roof is sheeted, and he'll likely put the siding up today so that he can insulate and sheet the interior walls.  This is a good thing, because our curious chickens have started flying up out of the box/pool to check us out whenever we tromp down the basement steps, whether or not we're headed down to feed them.  Every time I put a load of laundry in, I have to capture a bird and return her to her home.  This means chicken poop on the basement floor.  Ick.  Wonder how Scott's gonna clean that up?

As I was detailing this to a colleague, she remarked, "My goodness you are fertile with all of those things growing under your touch!"

If only... 

I sit here on CD 26 and am not sure that I ovulated on this cycle of Clomid.  Or maybe I have and my hormone surge wasn't as readily detectable as it has been in previous months.  After all, the Clear Blue Easy ovulation predictor strips have shown me a smiley face every morning -- that's the "positive" indicator.  The Answer test strips, which have been accurate for me for the last 5 months, have been almost-positive since CD 15ish.  So I have no clue what is going on, just that we decided not to waste the time, effort, or money on an intra-uterine insemination this month.  I'm not sure what to do from here, either.  My current game plan is to wait until CD 35 and if my period doesn't start, I'll call for a script to start it and ask for some more advice.

I'm trying to stay positive, really I am.  But then I see the sweetest little red-haired babe, probably about 4 months old, snuggling into her mama as she drops big sis off at preschool and my heart just lurches in my chest.  She looks like she could be mine, except that it's not my pulse she hears as she is rocked to sleep.  It's not my lips that whisper kisses on her downy head.  It's not my heart in which she'll live forever.

Nope, I'm still waiting.  Waiting to see Milo rocking his new baby sibling.  Waiting to see Violet hovering protectively over "her" baby.  Waiting to see Scott's shining happy face as he touches for the first time the infant that I have known in my body, mind, and soul. 

This is my pregnant pause.


SamiJoe said...

Your house sounds as full of seedlings as mine! Need to get them out--and into the greenhouse! In fact, most i've had to pot-up and some are even flowering and producing fruit! Eeek! (cuke bush)
Happy growing to you--in all ways!

parenting ad absurdum said...

Oh, I feel for you! Lots of positive thoughts heading your way. And your house sounds just plain delicious.