Saturday, April 17, 2010

Getting My Revenge

This was inspired by my lovely friend and frequent commenter, Vernetta.  If you ever get the chance to meet Vern, take it!  She's a great and generous person and super mom to the cutest red-heads ever and she has a damn perky little bum, to boot!

Listed below are several ways that I am plotting to get revenge upon my offspring, please feel free to leave me some more ideas in comments...

When they invite me to dinner, I will reluctantly approach the table, stomping my feet and whining. When my food is in front of me, I will glare at them like they have put poison out for me to eat and 'cweam "I don't LIIIIIiiiiIIIIIIKE this!." And then eat all of it because I totally forgot that I do like it.

I promise to balk going to the car, then dash over when I realize it's a race, then cross my arms and insist, "It's not fair!" when Scott beats me into his carseat. Because "I waaaaaaAAAaaaaated to be first!"

When we go out to eat, I will loudly insist that I "weally DO want ticken nuggets," then, when our food comes to the table and I realize their food is better than mine, I will whine until they give me half their salmon. Which is, of course, what they proposed when they suggested we share before I decided I wanted "ticken nuggets."

I will dance around naked, dash away from them when I'm slippery and wet out of the bath, then blame them when I slip on my own wet feet and bump my head. They should have toweled me off sooner, fer corn's sake!

I will have a fit when they are getting dressed for work, demanding they wear turquoise "flop-flops" to work because they match their turquoise shirts, regardless of the 18 inches of snow on the ground.

Finally, any time they try to introduce me to someone they like, I will bury my head on their butt-cheeks and pretend to be their third leg. Double points if I tug so hard on their skirts that I expose their undies.

3 comments:

Accustomed Chaos said...

Hilarious post! I will have to try some of these ;)

Devan @ Accustomed Chaos
http://accustomedchaos.blogspot.com

Bethany@ImperfectMom said...

Fabulous idea! Let's see-I would get out all kinds of stuff, all the while promising that I'll put it all away as soon as I'm done. Then, when it's time to clean up, I'll suddenly become limp, with arms like spaghetti, and feet like lead blocks, and cry, "But I'm sooooooo tiiiiii-rrrrreeedddd! I'm too tried to clean up!" Then, when a friend knocks on the door to see me, I'll make a miraculous recovery and be ready to go jump on the trampoline for hours...

Amanda T said...

Hey There!
I'm a new follower from Friday Follow. I hope you'll come by and follow me too :)

While your there please feel free to check out one of my newest giveaways for a SodaStream Machine. Or you can even read about things I like under my look at life tab.

Anyways,
Take Care; I'll be back to check up periodically.

-Amanda T
http://mylifewithratsandmore.blogspot.com