Friday, October 24, 2008

Nighttime Issues, Part 403

So the last week has been an interesting one around the Olinger Homestead. I am recovering from a nasty cold and have returned to the status of "fertile" again. As in one day after I asked Dr. Z (my OB/GYN) if it's normal to not menstruate for a year post-partum when my monthly-ish visitor reared her ugly head. She's not visited for almost two years and I really was fine with that... Too much information, I know, but it's my dang blog -- so there!

Milo helped carve his first pumpkin over the weekend. "Helped" is a rather loose term as he touched the pumpkin guts once and decided they were icky and spent the rest of his time wonder aloud (repeatedly) if Daddy was ever going to finish carving C-3PO and R2-D2 into the pumpkin. He did and it was glorious for a few days, then quickly turned to a moldy, runny stinky mess of pumpkin goo on our front porch. Scott, who is generally pretty level headed concerning all matters of ick, reacts very negatively to mold, claiming an allergy. I don't doubt that he has an allergy, but from what I can tell it is not life-threatening, nor even sneeze-inducing, so I always find the skittery dance he does around moldy objects to be kind of funny. In the same way I find it funny when he jumps when coming upon a snake.

The days are getting short around here. Late sunrise has stymied Milo's sense of overnight time. One morning this week, as I was dozing while nursing Violet in the glider, I heard his door open. I peeked around my hair to see what he would do as it was 6:45 and nearly time to get up anyway. He hesitated in his doorway, stepped out of his room, stepped back into his room, then stepped out again. He tried to pull his door shut, but it didn't close, so he pushed it wide open and then took two steps closer to our bed. I could tell by his pause that he wasn't sure if it was morning or night, but he believed me to be asleep and knew that Scott was sleeping soundly. He looked around our room and the only thing stirring was Tess, whose internal alarm clock rings loudly at 6:30 each morning.

Then my little man padded back into his room, shut his door and climbed back into bed. I heard him on the monitor as he told himself, "Good night." I roused Scott and told him that Milo was awake, he pulled on his lounging clothes and stumbled to the kids' door. He opened it and asked Milo if he was ready to go downstairs.

"No, Daddy, it's still nighttime. Go back to bed!"

Last night was one of those nights... I have finally hit a breaking point about Violet nursing all night. As in I'm tired of my sleep schedule being dictated to me by my toddler. She woke to nurse at 11:30PM last night and, by 1:30 she still hadn't really gone to sleep. She tossed, she turned, she squirmed and wriggled, but she did not fall asleep soundly. Each time she'd get drowsy, she'd roll off of my breast onto the pillow on my lap with a loud "pop!" as my nipple slid from her mouth. The she would decide that she needed to suck again, so she'd roll back onto my breast. Lather, rinse, and repeat for two hours. I was getting sore and she was, as I say affectionately, engaging me in "midget wrestling."

I stood up, kissed the top of her little blonde head and said, "Good night. I'm done being you pacifier tonight" and walked around the bed to apologize to Scott, "I'm sorry. I can't do this any more. I'm going downstairs so hopefully she doesn't scream all night long." And then I did.

I could hear her crying over the monitor and I decided I was likely the world's worst mom in that moment -- well, maybe Violet's worst mom in that moment. Then I heard Scott open the kids' door and scoop Milo out of his bead. Within seconds, I hear him deposit Violet in the crib. She cried for five minutes, then slept all night. Milo slept pretty well in our bed, though he did roll out once, surprising himself, but not hurting himself. Apparently he danced around the bed like a fish on a line while sleeping. I don't know -- I slept four whole hours in a row on the couch.

I do feel badly that Scott had a long night. But in all honesty, I haven't slept in my bed in 13.5 months. And he told me he was going to help get Violet into the crib in the other room way back in July. We'll see how tonight goes...

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