Tuesday, September 23, 2008


As it turns out, I did not get the cold last week. I did get it last night, though. I don't feel that bad, but am very sleepy.

Sleep is tough to come by right now. Miss Violet is still waking twice a night and needs me (well, my boob) to get back to sleep. I don't know how to stop this without causing more trouble. I love nursing her, but would be OK with just nursing for breakfast and before bed. Because she's still waking twice a night, I don't feel like I can put her in Milo's room just yet, though he has been asking for her to sleep in the crib. So she is still in room with us. Which means it could be the dogs waking her at night or daddy's snoring.

The snoring is bad again because Scott has a cold and cannot breathe with his bi-pap on -- but he also cannot breath with it off, so he's just not breathing. If the snoring weren't so thunderous, we all might be sleeping better. After a visit to his doctor discussing his bi-pap and restless leg syndrome, the doctor asked if we were still sleeping in the same bed. He answered, "No, but it's mostly because my wife is falling asleep in a chair while nursing our daughter." True, indeed.

I do not know when, if ever, I will get to fall into a calm bed and sleep for more than an hour at a time. I won't know what to do with myself if I'm ever actually rested. My quality of sleep is so poor that I don't know how I am able to function day after day after day. Scott is headed to NYC for 16 days with a class -- maybe I'll use that time to figure out what's waking Violet. And if it is daddy, maybe she and I might get a whole night of sleep in there. Not that I'm happy he'll be gone -- single-mommin' it for two straight weeks isn't going to be easy by any stretch of my active imagination. The kids will miss him terribly and we'll all be grouchy for most of the time he's away, I suspect.

Last night, Milo had a nightmare that he clearly remembered (this is a first). He woke crying and told Scott, "Mommy left me at the movie theater!" Well, I have never done such a thing -- he and I went to see Clone Wars last Friday and I stepped into the lobby to get him more lemonade, but leave him at the theater alone? Heck, no. And yet I somehow still felt badly about it -- even though I have never done it. I asked him about it this morning and his version made me even more guilty -- he said, "We went to see Madagascar and you left me at the theater all by myself and I cried and cried and you didn't come back."

All I could do was to promise that I would never leave him at the theater. So clearly my baby is subconsciously worrying that I am going to leave him somewhere. If only he knew I'd take him everywhere with me as long as he lives! The time for him to shove me over for a friend is approaching more rapidly than I can believe. I don't have too long before the thought of me leaving him somewhere is anticipated, not feared.

In other news: Violet is a nodding fool! She nods when you ask her questions now, sometimes accompanied by a "hmm-hmm." She hasn't quite got the idea that nodding is a neck-upwards movement, so she's nodding her shoulders, too. It's cute. She also bring us things and holds them up, saying, "dis? dis?" which I am taking to mean, "What's this?"

So I tell her, "That is the battery door on the remote. Have you seen the batteries?"

Nod, nod, "hmm, hmm."

"Should I be worried that you have eaten them?"

Nod, nod, "hmm, hmm."

In fact, she did not eat them -- that would have been a nightmare of a different sort.

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