Wayback Wednesday: Confessions of a Reformed Disco Vampire

I don't know why this popped into my head this morning as I was driving my kids to daycare, but I have been in two movies.  Not REAL released (even straight to video) movies.  And, no, not porn (who would want to see me in porn?  Ick!).  No, two movies filmed when I was in college by college students who had no budget, but manage to fund a steady-cam by scraping together every penny they found, whether it was discovered in the couch cushions, stuck to the sidewalk, or borrowed from mom.

Amazingly, I do not have an IMDb credit.  What, you mean you haven't seen the indelible works of art The Vampire Human Wars and Saturday Night Fever 3?  For shame...

To tell you the truth, I can't remember the plots of either of these movies.  I just know that I did have the female lead in SNF3.  Sure, I was dating the director, but I was dating him before he started filming, so I don't know that our "relationship" had anything to do with the casting.  I do remember the costume I wore for many of the scenes: a green long-sleeved t-shirt, ivory leggings, and ivory pumps.  Hey, it was 1992 and I was 18 and was wearing a size that is approximately half my dress size now.  And to think I complained about being fat then... sigh... 

Anyway, the big dance scene was filmed in a bar.  In, like, two takes.  They had to film during the daytime because I wasn't even old enough to get into the bar.  They guy in the John Travolta role was a really funny fella -- and kinda on the round-ish side.  This is the scene where he finally wins me over, we all dance together, and the film ends in one of those kisses where the camera circles the couple about 20 times.  I remember this mostly because after the dancing, the male lead was so sweaty that I kept sliding off his face.  Ah, good times...

I had a much smaller role in TVHW.  But I was a vampire before it was cool to be a vampire.  How many moms can claim that?

My big scene involved me trapping the protagonists and laughing an evil laugh.  The evil laugh that went on forever.  I asked the director (whom I was not dating -- he was gay and I wasn't and am not a guy) how long I should laugh.  He said, "As long as you can."  So I took the kind of breath you take when you realize your ship is sinking and you're about to go under and I started laughing.

And laughing.

And laughing.

And laughing.

Apparently, I can suck up as much air as a whale because I was still laughing 45 seconds later.

This costume was simple -- goth before goth was goth -- black, black, black and a billion layers.  Sheena Easton eye make-up.  And a push-up bra which was entirely unnecessary.  The other two vampiresses (is that a word?) were nearly A cups and I was an overflowing C, so with the bra I was wearing, the movie could very accurately have been called The Vampire Boob Human Wars.  Hmmm.... now that I think about this, it might have been porn after all...  No wonder I don't show up in IMDb.